How To Ditch Our Excuses and Have a Healthy Feast
My Favorite Strategies for Healthy Feasting
And 10 Sneaky Loopholes To Avoid
Whether you’re celebrating a birthday or Thanksgiving, attending an office party, or having friends over for dinner, I want to share something that will help you ensure that you have a healthier feast!
And it is not a recipe.
We all agree that dinner parties, office celebrations, and holiday feasts may present a challenge in maintaining good habits because most of the time they are all about food and drink, tradition, expectations, pleasing others, or being outside of our environment.
Of course, we may actually want to break some habits during the holidays and that is ok! (more on that below).
Here is a set of powerful strategies that will allow you to both ‘break’ some of your good habits in a mindful way AND to make healthier choices in social or celebratory situations - something I learned from a behavioral scientist, Gretchen Rubin, and something that I use to help my Live & Thrive students with habit consistency.
‘Planned Exception’ Strategy
You’re an adult and you can make informed choices. You can choose to make an exception to your habits during the holidays.
The good news is that if it’s a mindful choice, an exception pre-planned in advance, instead of an impulsive decision made in the heat of the moment, it will less likely lead to a repeated pattern and it will make you feel much better about yourself.
So you might think, “My habit is that I don’t drink at home on weekdays, but this week is Thanksgiving, so we’re going to have some wine with the family and I will have 1 glass.”
If you pre-plan the when, why, what, and how much, you stay in control, and you ensure that your habits are working for you instead of the other way around.
If we don’t pre-plan, more often than not we will use loopholes invoked in the heat of the moment and we will end up falling off track with our good habits.
And this is where the second strategy comes in.
'Loophole Spotting' Strategy
Amazingly, when it comes to making choices in the heat of the moment - at a party, for example - our brain goes into its more primitive mode that focuses on 2 things: seeking pleasure (treats, something we feel we deserve) and avoiding pain (not wanting to miss out, disappoint others, or be judged).
And we can easily find loopholes and convince ourselves to do something that we may regret later on.
However, if we consciously catch ourselves in the act of loophole-seeking, we can choose to reject them.
The funny thing is that a lot of these excuses we actually hold as firm (but limiting) beliefs!
See which flavor is your favorite and learn how to reframe your thoughts to have a healthier Thanksgiving and the rest of the holiday season!
My hope is that reading this list of 10 common loopholes identified by Gretchen Rubin will be an exercise in awareness of what can be possible for you, as opposed to self-judgment (which is a loophole in itself).
1. False choice loophole
I can’t go for my usual 20-minute walk, because I have to get ready for guests.
If I join that healthy living course, I won’t have any time with my kids.
I can’t cook healthy meals. I am too exhausted after work.
If I go to sleep earlier, I won’t have any time to myself.
REFRAME: Instead of thinking “Can I have this or that?” stop and ask, “Can I have this and that?” It’s surprising how often that’s possible. Also, ask yourself - how much time do you spend on social media, or procrastinating with unimportant tasks? Can you give up a little bit of that time to do something that will truly nourish you? Finally, remember, even 2-5 minutes of doing what you know is good for you is enough to keep your habits consistent.
2. Moral licensing
I’ve been so good, I deserve to do this.
After all the cooking, I’ve earned a nice glass of wine (or two).
I’ve been losing weight steadily on this diet, so it will be okay for me to cut a few corners.
I’ve been so diligent about this, I deserve a day off.
It’s okay if I eat three pieces of pie right now. I am planning a huge hike tomorrow.
REFRAME: Instead of thinking that something is a ‘treat’ that you deserve for being good, visualize how you want to feel, what kind of life/health you want to have 6-12 months from now, and think of your choice as a ‘threat’ to that best, healthiest version of you! It’s a play on words - threat vs treat - but it really works!
3. Tomorrow loophole
It doesn’t matter what I eat now, because I’m starting a diet tomorrow.
I’ll indulge today and it’ll make me feel less inclined to do the same tomorrow.
REFRAME: What matters is NOW! Eating a giant bowl of ice cream today will not make it any easier to resist tomorrow (in fact, it may make it harder). Research shows that people who plan to start dieting tomorrow will tend to over-eat today, and because the magical ‘tomorrow’ rarely comes, we end up chronically overindulging.
4. Lack of control
I just can’t help myself, my willpower does not work!
I am just the kind of person who always…
I’m too stressed to deal with this now.
We opened a bottle of wine, so we had to finish it.
REFRAME: Remember, no one is forcing you to make these choices. Pause and ask yourself: maybe I do have control over my own choices. They are your choices after all. Learn about strategies that help you become consistent with your habits by working with how your brain is wired instead of relying on the outdated strategy of willpower. I will be teaching about that right here!
5. Planning to fail
It’s a strange phenomenon but planning to fail essentially means you’re setting yourself up for failure, and people do it quite often. We do this due to a subconscious fear of failure, so instead of the pain of judging ourselves later, we seem to make a choice to fail.
I’ll just stand here right next to the dessert table, because the other room is so crowded.
I have to go on a walk with my dog so I’ll just walk by my favorite bakery.
I’m not going to eat anything else tonight, but I’m bored so I'll go into the kitchen and look in the freezer just for fun.
I have a lot of work but sure, I’ll meet you for a drink.
I’ll just buy some wine in case somebody stops by.
REFRAME: Yes the room may be crowded, why don’t you go stand in the hallway instead of near the dessert table? Yes, you have to take the dog on a walk, but why don’t you take a longer route through the forest so that you can get extra exercise? Yes, you’re bored after dinner, why don’t you journal instead or play a game with your family? Go meet your friend at a coffee shop instead of the bar, and only after you’ve checked a couple of things off your to-do list?
6. “This doesn’t count”
It’s Thanksgiving!
We’re out of town!
What are weekends for?
I’m sick.
I ate it off a child’s plate.
I don’t even want this.
REFRAME: The truth is - everything counts. Despite what we wish was true, the nutritional content of a piece of cake is the same at a party as it is any other day of the year. Small pieces of broken cookies are still cookies! And if you overeat when you don’t even like the food, it still counts! In fact - it counts even more.
7. Questionable assumption loophole
These cookies are healthy. Look, they’re gluten-free.
It’s not a proper dinner without wine.
I need to eat a lot to get good value from this buffet.
If I do this, my craving will be satisfied, and I’ll stop.
If I indulge now, It’ll get it out of my system.
This will help me sleep.
REFRAME: These excuses are based on our beliefs that are typically formed either in our childhood by our parents or by our cultural norms, or by misinformation. Or, they may simply be a form of wishful thinking. If this is your tendency - try questioning if these beliefs are true. Where are these beliefs coming from? Are they based on true facts? Do some research.
8. Concern for others
At dinner, if everyone is drinking, it would seem weird if I didn’t drink.
I have to eat seconds and thirds of everything, or my host will feel insulted.
REFRAME: First of all remember that taking care of yourself, even if it means changing habits and traditions, will make others happy, not upset! In addition, you can say to yourself: “Everyone else is drinking, so I’ll order sparkling water, and no one will know what’s in my glass.” “My grandmother gets upset if I don’t take seconds, so I’ll take a very small portion the first time, so she sees me go back for more.”
9. Fake self-actualization
You only live once!
I have to do this now or miss out forever.
REFRAME: Ask: “How am I going to feel about it tomorrow?” or “Yes, I only live once and I want to make my best healthiest choices every day to live the life I want! I don’t want to have any regrets tomorrow.”
10. One-coin loophole
What difference will one meal make, over the course of a lifetime?
One extra glass of wine won’t make a difference.
Why should I bother to wear my bike helmet today?
REFRAME: Remember, just like investing in a retirement account one penny at a time has a compound interest. Not investing - has a compound loss. Same with our health habits. Every healthy choice leads to the compounded effect of a healthy and fulfilling life, and every poor choice, no matter how small, takes away from that. It’s so easy to point out the low value of the one coin. By reminding ourselves that the heap grows one coin at a time, we can help keep ourselves on track.
My hope is that by practicing awareness and identifying the loopholes, you can identify possible solutions and have a healthier holiday season!
So, let me know in the comments below: which is your favorite loophole?
Happy Feasting!
Nadya
PS. I'll be sharing many more free resources, tips and recipes on my social media. So, make sure to 👉 Follow me on Instagram @thriving_tribe